An anomalistic, impetuous, precipitous catastrophe
by CutsAndStitches
Summary: Sometimes life decides to complicate things. For two physicists and their friends, life is about to get a whole lot more complicated. The question is: Can they handle it? Loads of different pairings...


**Sorry for inaccuracies and if anyone seems out of character. This is my first big bang theory fanfic! I am going try write as much as possible and update this as often as possible, and I hope you enjoy! :]**

"Thank you Leonard!" Sheldon shouted angrily, slamming the apartment door behind him as he stormed through it. For once, it was completely clear that he was being sarcastic. Even if his tone hadn't given it away, the fact that he looked, as some people would phrase it, like a drowned rat. His eyebrow furrowed in annoyance as he marched towards Leonard's room, leaving puddles everywhere he went.

"What's the matter now, Shel- Oh boy." If Leonard could have seen what was coming, he would have dived out his bedroom window. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't been expecting an angry, dripping Sheldon to come charging towards him, and had just casually walked out of his bedroom.

Sheldon raised his finger, accusingly pointing it at Leonard and spraying small water particles at him as he did so. His lips crinkled in frustration, causing Leonard to back away slightly until he got stuck against his bedroom door. Oh how he wished that he could have dived out of that window. It would have been a much easier fate. But even trying to fumbling with the door handle and diving towards that window would further irritate Sheldon to a point where even death wouldn't keep him save. Coming to accept these facts, Leonard bravely raised his head to stare into Sheldon's eyes, hoping his fate would swiftly arrive.

"You left me at work, meaning I had to walk home and it started thunder storming! I've probably caught various types of infectious bacteria that will either make me sick, or infect one of our fellow companions. That is strike two for you Leonard, and-"Sheldon furiously began, irrupted only by a chesty cough. His eyes bulged with both worry and irritation. "See, the bacteria has already got into my system! I will become infected within hours, or at least by the time I wake up tomorrow morning!"

"You'll be fine Sheldon." Leonard muttered quickly, swiftly backing into his room before his fate became helping Sheldon with his usual illness tests. Luckily for Leonard, Sheldon didn't notice him leaving as he was repeated swiping his hand across his forehead, checking to see whether he had a temperature, or, even worse, a fever.

Finally realising that his room-mate had vanished, Sheldon turned towards Leonard's bedroom door. He rapidly knocked three times, though the anger that could have been in the knocks was diminished by the relief of not having a fever. Unknown to them all, something much worse was in store.

"Leonard!"

_**Knock! Knock! Knock! **_

"Leonard!"

_**Knock! Knock! Knock! **_

"Leonard!"

But it was no use. Sheldon guessed that Leonard had probably used his window as an escape route, like Sheldon once had when he believed a burglar was in the house. He'd gone from his room to Leonard's through the window, though he'd had to knock several times before he was allowed in. But Sheldon knew that his bedroom window was locked, so he guessed that Leonard would have resorting to using the emergency stairs that were almost just below his window. The rules stated that they should only be used for emergencies, but Leonard always believed "sick Sheldon" was an emergency and he generally liked to evacuate the building.

"Leonard?" Sheldon pointlessly shouted once more, hoping that at least someone would hear his helpless calls. No answer. That meant he'd have to look after himself before someone who actually cared about him could help. But the only person that could help him would be his mother, and she was on a long trip to holy islands. Possibly Amy could help, but she wouldn't be available to call until the morning. Sighing, Sheldon trudged towards his room, immediately organising his anti-biotics and getting straight into bed.

/

"Hello, Amy dear. How are you?" Amy's mum voice asked through the phone held the Amy's ear. She sighed; she'd hoped that either Bernadette or Penny had called, but obviously not.

"I'm fine thanks, how are you?"

"Well that's good to hear. Do you happen to be busy tomorrow, dear?"

"I'll have to check with my friends' fir-"

"Look, Amy, I'm looking after three of your cousins tomorrow, and I need to some help, and maybe it'll help convince you to produce me some grandchildren."

Amy groaned. It wasn't that she didn't like spending time with her mother, or that she wouldn't want to meet and look after her cousins, but she'd didn't appreciate her mother's motives. Why did she want grandchildren so much, and why did it have to rely on her? It wasn't necessarily that she wouldn't want children, a family seemed like a great idea, but the only way she'd ever be able to conceive them would be through a sperm donor, or something along those lines.

"I guess I'll come."

"Good, see you tomorrow! Love you Amy."

"Yeah, love you too." Amy muttered, putting the phone aside. The more she thought about it, the more promising children sounded. But Sheldon refused to even kiss her, so it would be unthinkable to even ask him to try to conceive children. Sometimes, it was just so hard being his boyfriend, but Amy was pretty sure that she loved him. Or she might not, but she knew that she liked him at least, and still wanted him to be her boyfriend.

/

Leonard sighed as he turned down the street leading to their building. He'd taken the emergency route to escape Sheldon, when he probably should have stayed to look after him. No, who was he kidding? Looking after Sheldon when he was sick was a nightmare, and it wouldn't help his current problem at all.

Leonard sighed once again, trying to direct his mind down other paths, but they all seemed to lead back to this one. Why did he always have to like the ones he could never have? He had even less hope with this person than he had with famous people. It wasn't like this person was completely beautiful, well; he didn't think she was bad looking. In his eyes, she was actually quite attractive, but most people wouldn't agree. This would make it more likely that she'd like him back, right? Wrong. She was smart and she was in their social circle, but she already had a boyfriend. And her boyfriend was so much smarter than he was. If Sheldon heard him admit that, he'd take great pleasure from it, though he already knew, and persistently reminded everyone, that he was much smarter than Leonard. That's right. Leonard had fallen for Amy Farrah-Fowler.

He didn't even know when his attraction to her had begun. Maybe when he'd first become single and she was with Penny. Penny. Amy was so different to Penny, yet somehow, Leonard believed he had less chance ever getting with Amy than he did getting back with Penny. Almost impossible, but maybe not completely.

The thoughts finally vanished from his head when he realised that a very familiar carpet was right before his eyes. Great, he'd tripped. How in the world had he tripped over such a small doorframe as the one leading to their building? Of course, his brain had drifted far from his head and he had been thinking about Amy.

Leonard cursed to himself when he realised that he'd led himself to start thinking about her once more. Sighing again, he climbed to his feet and trudged towards the stairs. Maybe if he let his mind wander, it would wander from Amy? Worth a try at least.

The first thing that came to Leonard's mind was stairs, but that was probably because he'd been thinking about how his bed was at the top of them. But now that his mind was wandering around the thought of stairs, Leonard remembered when Sheldon had been telling him about stairs. Damn, Sheldon. He'd have to be extra quiet to avoid waking Sheldon when trying to sneak to bed. But that task seemed to be impossible now that all he could think about was Amy. Leonard groaned. He was thinking about her again.

It was only then that he actually realised: he was outside his apartment. Now, he'd really have to concentrate, especially as Sheldon's hearing was spectacular. Carefully, Leonard slipped inside the apartment, closing the door behind him as silently as possibly. Then he kneeled down, crawling along the floor to make as little noise as possible. The process was slow, but he eventually found himself outside his bedroom. Thank god he hadn't woken Sheldon, but now he had the problem of waking up before him. Of course, that was something he could deal with in the morning, but right now, he needed sleep.

/

Penny yawned, dragging her heavy shopping bags up the stairs. Today was one of those days when she wished the elevator worked so she wouldn't have to drag everything across the floor. But the elevator would never be fixed, or wouldn't be for a long time. The reason: no-one ever did anything about it, and Howard had no idea how to fix it, not that he would as he was pre-occupied with Bernadette.

As she reached her floor, Penny witnessed Leonard slip inside his apartment, looking tired, annoyed and like he was about to commit a robbery; he was being extremely sneaky and quiet. Penny would have shrugged, but the weight of her bags wouldn't allow her. Not caring any longer, she dropped several of them, enabling some of the contents to topple down the stairs, and hurried toward her apartment. Maybe dropping some of them wasn't the best idea as expensive shoes and several CDs were inside, but she could only hope none of them were cracked or got stolen before she picked them up.

Ugh. Penny had forgotten that consequence. Now she'd have to hurry down the stairs, picking items up along the way until she had collected everything. More work: great.

Sliding her shopping bags into her apartment, Penny turned on her heels and sped down the stairs, shoving any items into the bags she found, and carrying other items in her arms. By the time she'd collected everything, all her energy had been drained from within her.

"Why can't someone fix that god-damn elevator?" She groaned, trudging back up the stairs. Slowly yet surely, she reached her apartment and slipped inside. Without much more care, she dropped everything she was holding on the floor and fell forward onto her couch. Who knew shoe-shopping could have such an awful consequence?

Without much more thought, Penny fell into a deep sleep sprawled lazily across her couch. Unlike Sheldon, she didn't care whether she properly fit on it or not, she just cared for sleep.

/

Leonard sprang out of bed, his eyes immediately drawn to his watch. He cursed; he'd overslept by an hour, and Sheldon would soon be out of bed. That wouldn't end well; he'd end up having to take time off work to attend to Sheldon's every need.

Without caring for clean underwear, he could buy some more on the way to work, Leonard threw off his pyjamas, and quickly changed into suitable work attire. Before even fully dressed, he grabbed everything he needed and flung himself out the door, charging down the stairs three at a time.

Several times, Leonard almost lost his balance and fell flat on his face, but he was able to keep himself upright. Even if he did fall down the stairs, that would be a better fate than looking after a sick Sheldon.

Finally at the bottom of their building, Leonard slowed down and gave himself time to properly dress. When he believed he looked smart enough, or what he guessed was smart enough, Leonard strode out of the building, this time managed to not fall over the small step, and walked towards his car, ready for work.

/

"Leonard?" Sheldon attempted to shout, but his voice was drowned out by his own coughs and wheezes. No reply. Either Leonard hadn't heard him, he'd already left, or he had never returned in the first place.

Sheldon sighed, buttoning up his Tuesday pyjama shirt; since there would be no point in getting dressed, he'd changed into his Tuesday pyjamas, just so he didn't seem out of place still wearing Monday pyjamas.

Checking his temperature once again, Sheldon noted that he was now coming down with a fever, which could mean he had numerous types of viruses, or simply just a fever. But some of his other symptoms argued with that theory, allowing him to know it was much more than a fever.

Sheldon sighed once more, which was accompanied with a shiver, and paced his way towards his spot on the couch. Once reaching his destination, he sunk into his seat and reached for the remote, switching through the channels to see if anything interesting was on. Within several searches, he found X-Men: First Class, which would be fine to watch for now.

Realising that he still needed someone to care for him, Sheldon reached for the phone to call his girlfriend, Amy, wondering if this was the type of thing a girlfriend could do.

"Amy? Amy? Amy?" He frantically shouted, or at least attempted to, down the phone. Before she had chance to reply, Sheldon possibly deafened her with three chesty coughs, which he made a whiny remark to his chest hurting afterwards.

Nevertheless, Amy still proceeded to ask: "What is it, Sheldon?"

"I need you to look after me... I'm sick."

"I'm sorry to hear that Sheldon, but I'm afraid I can't."

"Well, why not? Aren't I supposed to be your boyfriend?"

He heard Amy sigh on the other end; he still didn't understand the term, and he still didn't appear understand that people couldn't just drop what they were doing to look after him.

"Sheldon, you're not a child anymore, you can look after yourself. And I have something important to do with my mother."

"What's more important than looking after me when I'm sick?"

Ignoring Sheldon's last remark, Amy proceeded to ask: "How do you feel about reproduction through physical contact?"

"Are you trying to suggest something? Because if you are it is a preposterous idea as not only am I not fit enough to carry out the procedure, but we're not far enough in our relationship to even begin thinking about reproduction."

"It was an experiment Sheldon." Amy said solemnly and without emotion. "I wanted to monitor reactions to that question." And then the line went dead.

"What an odd thing to propose." Sheldon muttered through coughs. "And she wouldn't even look after me, and I'm sick." Several more chesty coughs interrupted wherever Sheldon was going with what he was saying, and he clutched his chest. A sharp pain get running through it, and it felt like his lungs had scrunched themselves up. He whined, and tried to take a deep breath, but felt more pains, this time more agonising.

"Hey Leonard?" Penny said loudly, walking uninvited through the apartment door. Sheldon stopped focusing on his chest, and he turned to Penny.

"He's not here. He left before I woke, that is if he actually did return last night." He said thickly, interrupted at least three times by deep coughs.

"Sheldon, are you sick?" Penny asked sympathetically, genuinely feeling concerned for him as she hurried towards him. He nodded, then turned to her and said, "Amy has more important things to do."

"What are you talking about, Swee-"

"Amy has more important things to do." He repeated. "And I'm sick. I need someone to look after me."

"Oh, I'm sorry Sweetie. I'm sure Amy wanted to come over and look after you."

"She has more-"But he never finished repeating it again as he began coughing violently and abruptly started shivering.

"That sounds pretty serious Sheldon; we should get you checked out."

He merely tried to shake his head, then laid it on his quilt, which he was tightly clinging to as his shivers became more vicious. With every minute that past, his breathing got deeper and raspier, sharp pains shooting through his chest.

"I'm serious Sheldon! I'm taking you to the doctors', and then I promise I'll look after you until you're better." As she said this, she wrapped her arm around Sheldon, helping him off the couch. The promising thought of someone taking care of him helped motivate him. With this newfound motivation, Sheldon managed to force himself to his feet. Then he trudged along beside Penny who kept her arm around him, trying her best to comfort him.

/

**Several Hours Later **

"Penny? I can't breathe?" Sheldon wheezed, his chest moving rapidly as he tried to fight his illness and breathe properly. Carefully, she helped him onto his bed and ordered him to stay there, saying that she'd get him a drink to see if that would help, or otherwise use some of that oxygen.

He shot her a grateful look, then went back to concentrating on breathing. He took a deep breath, wincing as a sharp pain shot down his chest. Penny, who had heard him wince, took sympathy on him and rushed back into his room with a glass of water.

"Is this distilled?" Sheldon weakly asked, getting nothing but a blank expression in response. He sighed, taking the water as he would prefer to drink water that wasn't distilled than die, though it seemed weird for him to admit that.

The water loosened his chest slightly, and the wheezing eased. If only Sheldon could say the same thing about his coughing. Just as he thought about this, he began violently coughing. Penny stared at him; she hated seeing Sheldon, no matter how annoying he sometimes was, like this. Not wanting to watch him any longer, she shot to his side, kneeling on the bed and gently patting his back.

His coughing disappeared momentarily, and Sheldon raised his head to glare at Penny, but she noticed a grateful glint in his eyes. Moving slowly to keep his breathing steady, Sheldon swung his legs upwards and positioned himself so he was sat upright in the middle of his bed. Deciding she didn't want to move, Penny adjusted her position slightly so she was sat beside Sheldon on his right side. For a split second, she thought Sheldon would shout at her, demanding her out of his room, but he didn't. To her surprise, he lowered his head and gently rested it on her shoulder.

"This is what friends do, right?" Sheldon asked, making Penny smile.

"Yes, Sheldon, some friends do this."

"Thank you, Penny. I may regret saying this but, I'm grateful to have you as a friend."

Penny grinned, knowing that if she tried to speak, it might rise into the high-pitched squeak that annoyed Sheldon to no end. She hated to admit it, but she'd missed having Sheldon as a close friend; when he'd started dating Amy, their closeness got erased and they barely saw each other.

"Do you want me to sing you Soft Kitty?" Penny asked, knowing that this was Sheldon's sick song, and he couldn't go without it when ill. He nodded, turning to smile at Penny. In a way, he'd sort of missed her presence, whether most of her comments were what he called stupid, or not. She'd always been there for him, and he'd been there for her several times when either no-one else had been, or no-one else was allowed, according to Howard anyway.

"Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty..." Penny began gently.

"Wait, wait." Sheldon interrupted. And first it was unclear why, but then he started violently shivering, which caused him to tightly grasp both his duvet and Penny.

"Um, Sweetie, this is slightly awkward." Penny whispered, trying not to offend Sheldon and wanting to help, but in the position she was in, she couldn't help at all. At least she was there to help if he needed it though, unlike the rest of their friends. Sheldon was seriously ill too, with pneumonia, and if she hadn't been there, his breathing could have become restricted and he may have suffocating by himself. That would have been an awful way to die. Penny shuddered at the thought, then realised that Sheldon had released his tight hugging grasp.

"Penny, I feel awful." He whined in a manner that reminded Penny of a small child. She smiled slightly, but only at his child-like actions and not to the fact that he felt awful.

"I think sleep is the best remedy." She answered, reaching one of her hands out to Sheldon's and squeezing it. "And I'll sleep on the couch to make sure I can get to you in case of an emergency." Then Penny proceeded to get to her feet and leave, but Sheldon stopped her immediately.

"I'm not comfortable." He said bluntly, his eyebrows furrowed with frustration. His tone and facial expressions changed. "You were comfortable."

Penny smiled, returning to the position she'd moved from only moments ago. Sheldon smiled slightly, then rested his head on her shoulder again, feeling like he'd finally got the hang of friendships. Friendships were where people selflessly did things for their friends because they cared about them, and it was where people spent a good amount of time together. It was where the people stuck together through everything and always looked out for one another. But that wasn't it, there was so much more, too much to even explain.

"Penny?"

"Yes, Sheldon?"

"You've helped me further understand the concept of Friendships, which I presume is also contained within the concept of relationships."

Penny merely smiled; she didn't understand a word he'd just said, but she was completely aware by his tone that he was probably thanking her.

"Sing soft kitty to me?"

"Of course, Sheldon." She'd been waiting for him to ask again, and she knew by the way Sheldon acted when sick that she wouldn't be waiting long.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur." Sheldon's eyes began to droop, his blinking speed increasing as he grew sleepier.

"Happy kitty, sleep kitty, purr, purr, purr."

"Again?" Sheldon muttered, trying to keep himself awake because he wasn't sure he'd be able to sleep on Penny's shoulder. Still, he wanted to hear the song at least once more before he slept.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty..." Penny began once again, suspecting that Sheldon wouldn't make it through the next time of singing it. She was right, he was asleep before she'd finished saying 'warm kitty.' Nevertheless, Penny decided to keep going right through to the end.

"Little ball of fur..." A huge yawn interrupted her, and Penny felt her eyes growing heavier. She ignored the feeling, wanting to finish to song.

"Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr..." And the final 'purr' was nothing more than a snore as Penny also fell asleep, half laying, half sitting exactly where she was with Sheldon leaning against her. And oddly enough, it was completely comfortable, and, until she'd fallen asleep, Penny was perfectly happily perched there.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter two will come ASAP, at the earliest on Monday... Hope you enjoyed it and please review?<strong>


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